we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
