yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
