dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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