just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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