mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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