But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
