Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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