I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
