I cockslap morals
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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