3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I should be sponsored by Trojan
love makes seman taste better
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
