I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
