Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
