I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
