my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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