Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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