...so i touched it.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
