U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
