Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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