You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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