If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
