i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
