hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
