She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
