I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
