All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
