Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is it because I queefed?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
