yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
