apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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