This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
