So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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