you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
