yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
