You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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