You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
