I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
