Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
