Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
