ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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