We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
