matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's never too late to be topless.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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