I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
