Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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