I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
