i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
