I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
