Sry I called you an 8
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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