Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
