omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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