yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
