the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
